An old woman sees a camel

 Shortly after the Russian Revolution, an old woman goes to the Petrograd Zoo and sees a camel for the first time in her life.

"Poor horse!" she cries out. "Look at what the Bolsheviks did to you!"

An old woman meets Gorbachev

 An old woman gets an audience with Gorbachev, and asks him a question: "Who invented socialism, scientists or politicians?"

"Politicians, of course," replies Gorbachev.

"No wonder. If it were invented by scientists, they'd have tested it out on dogs first!"

A boy asks his grandpa

 In the distant future of 2010, a boy asks his grandpa, "Grandpa, what's a line?"

The grandpa replies, "A bit over twenty years ago, there wasn't enough meat in stores, so we had to wait in long queues at the stores' entrance in hopes of there being some meat for us to buy. That's what lines are. Understand?"

"Oh, okay," says the boy. "But what's meat?"

An old veteran goes out to get some meat

 An old veteran goes out to get some meat for his dinner, but he comes home empty-handed because the line didn't have enough.

"I can't believe this! I fought for Lenin in the revolution and Stalin in the war, and this is how they treat me! If they run out again tomorrow, I'll give that commissar a piece of my mind!"

"Please don't say anything stupid, dear," his wife says, "or else they might shoot you for treason!"

The next day, the old veteran comes back, seething and empty-handed.

"Were they out of meat again?" his wife asks.

"Not only that, they're also out of bullets!"

A little girl visits her grandmother

 A little girl is visiting her grandmother, who asks, "Dear, what are you learning in school these days? It's probably so different from what I was taught."

"They taught us about what life will be like under communism! The shops will be stocked, nobody will be unemployed, and everyone can have enough to eat!"

"Ah," the grandmother replies, "Just like under the Tsar!"

Leonid Brezhnev's elderly mother visits

 Leonid Brezhnev's elderly mother is visiting, so he shows her around his office in the Kremlin, pointing out all the fine furniture and the priceless artwork on the walls.

"So mother, what do you think?"

"It's alright..."

A bit disappointed, Brezhnev takes her to his apartment in Moscow. He takes care to point out the jacuzzi, the fine clothes, the Omega watches, and all these other luxuries.

"Are you impressed, mother?"

"It's okay..."

So, he flies her down to his villa in Yalta. He takes her on the yacht, shows her the sports cars in the garage, and points out the most expensive champagnes in the wine cellar.

"Why aren't you happy for me, mother? I made it, I'm successful!"

"I am, dear, I'm just worried for your safety. After all, what will you do if the Reds come back?"

An old Ukrainian hears the news

 An old Ukrainian is enjoying his tea one day when his grandson runs in.

"Grandfather, the radio says that the Russians have gone into space!"

"All of them?" he asks.

"No, only one."

"Then don't get my hopes up like that!"

People in Africa without shirts

 A party member hears an old peasant complaining that he only owns one shirt, but he owned two under the Tsar.

"Now, comrade," he says, "we should be thankful for what we have. There are people in Africa who don't own any shirts or clothes at all!"

"I never thought of it like that," the peasant replies, "I had no idea that Africa was so much closer to communism than we are!"

An old woman gives glory to God

 An old woman manages to catch the bus just before it left, exclaiming "Glory to God, I made it!"

The bus driver tells her, "Comrade, you can't say that anymore! You have to say 'Glory to Comrade Stalin' now!"

"Forgive me, I get forgetful sometimes at my age," the woman replies. "But what do I say if, God forbid, something happens to Comrade Stalin?"

"Then you can say 'Glory to God!'"