Questions from a Soviet School Exam

 Question 1: Who is your favorite political leader?

Question 2: Why is it Comrade Lenin?

Radio Yerevan on censorship

 Radio Yerevan, is there censorship of the radio and press in the Soviet Union?

In theory, no; however, we cannot go into more detail about it at this time.

Radio Yerevan on freedom of speech

 Radio Yerevan, is it true that the Soviet Constitution guarantees freedom of speech?

In theory, yes. Freedom after speech, on the other hand...

Three dogs

 An American dog, a Polish dog, and a Russian dog all meet one another for the first time, and they're talking about their lives.

"If I bark long enough, my owner always gives me some meat," says the American dog.

The Polish dog asks, "What's 'meat'?"

The Russian dog asks, "What's 'bark'?"

A violinist in the Moscow Philharmonic can't complain

 A violinist who's a member of the Moscow Philharmonic goes on tour across Europe. After a concert in Vienna, a journalist asks him "How's the quality of life in the Soviet Union?" and he responds "I can't complain."

After another concert in Rome, another journalist asks him "How's freedom of speech in the Soviet Union?" and he responds "I can't complain."

After another concert in Paris, he's asked "How's political transparency in the Soviet Union?" and he replies "I can't complain."

On the tour's stop in London, he flees to the American Embassy to apply for asylum. The ambassador asks him "Why do you want to defect? You said you didn't have any problems living in the Soviet Union."

"I never said I didn't have problems," the violinist replies, "I just said I couldn't complain."

An American tourist in Red Square

 An American tourist in Red Square is sitting on a bench and strikes up a conversation with a local.

"You know what I love about America?" he says, "Our freedom of expression. In fact, I could probably march into the White House and tell President Reagan, 'Sir, I hate how you're running America!'"

"It's the same in Russia," the local replies, "I can march into the Kremlin and tell Secretary Gorbachev, 'Sir, I hate how President Reagan is running America!'"

Every joke in the Eastern Bloc

 How does every joke in the Eastern Bloc start?

With a glance over your shoulder.