Honecker and his mistress

 Erich Honecker is making pillow talk with his mistress when she tells him, "Dear, why won't you open the borders?"

After a moment of pondering what she means, he replies, "Ah! You want the two of us to have some alone time!"

Brezhnev's opinion on Honecker

After a state visit to East Germany, Leonid Brezhnev was asked about his meeting with Erich Honecker.

"He's an okay politician," Brezhnev replied, "but he sure knows how to kiss!"

Reagan, Gorbachev, and Honecker are in a plane

 Ronald Reagan, Mikhail Gorbachev, and Erich Honecker are in a plane that crashes in the Sahara desert. While waiting to be rescued, they see a group of Berber nomads with guns on the horizon.

As they spur on their camels and charge, Reagan tries to deter them by yelling, "If you let us live, you'll be handsomely rewarded!" However, they are unmoved and continue charging.

Gorbachev tries next, saying "If you let us live, I will show you the path to communism!" However, they fail to stop.

Thinking fast, Honecker yells "YOU ARE APPROACHING THE BORDER OF THE GERMAN DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC! WILKOMMEN, KAMARADEN!" The Berbers scream, turn their camels around, and flee.

Erich Honecker and the sun

 Erich Honecker wakes up one morning, looks outside, and says "Good morning, comrade sun!"

To his surprise, the sun replies, "Good morning, Comrade Honecker!"

Later that day, he tells some of his colleagues at the State Council Building about it, and they refuse to believe him. So, they go outside, and Honecker calls out, "Good afternoon, comrade sun!"

"Go fuck yourself!" the sun replies.

Honecker is outraged. "How dare you! Do you have any idea who you're talking to?!"

"I'm in the West now, I can say whatever I want!"

Honecker goes outside in disguise

 Erich Honecker, President of East Germany, feels concerned that the people don't like him. So, he puts on a disguise and goes onto the streets of East Berlin.

He approaches a man on a street corner and asks, "What do you think about Honecker?"

The man looks around nervously and replies, "I can't say it out in the open, others might hear me! Follow me down that alleyway."

Honecker follows the man, until they feel that they're far enough away from any eavesdroppers.

At last, the man leans over and whispers, "I support Honecker!"