Trabant heating

 Why do Trabants have heated rear windows?

To keep your hands warm as you push it.

A man goes to a Trabant dealership

 A man goes into a Trabant dealership, goes up to the dealer, and asks, "Hello, do you have any Trabants with a two-tone paint job?"

"As a matter of fact, we do," the dealer replies. "It also comes with power steering, cruse control, adjustable power seats, heating, air conditioning, and a digital instrument panel."

"You're joking!" replies the man.

"Well, you started it!"

Trabants at a green light

 Why would a Trabant be stopped at an intersection with a green light?

There's some gum on its tires.

Trabant 601

 What does the Trabant 601 stand for?

600 cars ordered, 1 car delivered.

A man's Trabant wipers break

 A man's driving his Trabant when his windshield wipers break. He pulls into a service shop, goes up to a mechanic, and asks "Wipers for a Trabi?"

The mechanic pauses for a moment and says, "Sure, seems like a good deal."

Two Trabants crash

Yesterday in East Berlin, two Trabants collided with another.

There were fifty-two injured: two drivers, and fifty fighting over the parts.

Trabants and teenagers

How is a Trabant like a pregnant teenager?

They're both fifteen years old and the shame of the family.

Trabant on a hill

 What do you call a Trabant on a hill?

A miracle.

The sheik's Trabant

 A wealthy Arab sheik hears of the Trabant, a car so rare that people are willing to wait ten years to get ahold of one. He figures that it must be incredibly desired, and places an order for it.

The factory gets word of the order, and they're so excited that they make it a top priority. After only a month, the car is ready and it's shipped off to Arabia.

When it arrives, one of the sheik's aides goes to tell him the news. "Sire, you know the car you ordered? They already sent you a cardboard model of it!"

A man is driving with his wife and son

 A man is driving with his wife and young son when they're stopped at a police checkpoint. A policeman makes the man blow into the breathalyzer, and sure enough, he's drunk.

"No way! Your machine must be broken!" swears the man. He urges the policeman to test his wife and son as well. Surprisingly, both of them register as intoxicated. The policeman admits the breathalyzer must be broken after all, and lets them pass without further issue.

As he drives away, the man tells his wife, "See? I knew it would be worth it giving him five grams of vodka!"

Radio Yerevan on winning a car

 Radio Yerevan, is it true that Grigori Grigoriyev won a luxury car in the All-Union Championship in Moscow?

In theory, yes. But the initial bulletin was incorrect. It is not Grigori Grigoriyev, but Vasily Vasiliyev; it was not the All-Union Championship, but a kolkhoz sports festival in Smolensk; it was not a car, but a bicycle; and it was not won, but rather someone stole it from him.

An American, Frenchman, and Russian discuss bravery

 An American, Frenchman, and Russian debate which of them is the bravest.

The American goes first. "My friends and I take ten cars, one of which has the brake lines cut, and we grab a random set of keys, then we go racing. Afterwards, one of us is injured, and the other nine visit him in the hospital."

Then the Frenchman goes. "My friends and I find ten beautiful women, one of whom has AIDS. We roll dice on who we pair up with, and we make love all night long. Afterwards, the other nine visit the sick one in the hospital."

Then the Russian goes. "My friends and I all gather in an apartment, not knowing which of us is an informant, and spend all night telling political jokes. Afterwards, one visits the other nine in jail."

A man parks his car in Red Square

 A man parks his car in Red Square, but a police officer rushes up to him. "You can't park there, it's right outside the Politburo!"

"Don't worry, sir," the man replies, "I made sure to lock it."

A son borrows the car keys

 A teenage son goes up to his father. "Dad, can I borrow the car keys?"

"Sure, but don't lose them. We're getting the car in only seven years!"

A woman orders a car

 A woman goes down to the Lada dealership and orders the new model car.

The dealer replies, "It'll be ready to pick up in ten years, eight months, and three days."

"Will that be in the morning or the afternoon?"

"Why does it matter, it's ten whole years from now!"

"I have the plumber coming that morning."