Leonid Brezhnev dies and goes to Hell. Due to his prominence in life, Satan says that he can choose his punishment.
So Brezhnev walks through Hell, seeing the punishments inflicted upon other world leaders. He sees Stalin being submerged in boiling water, Hitler being hung upside-down, and Khrushchev with Marilyn Monroe sitting on his lap.
"Ooh, I choose Khrushchev's punishment!" says Brezhnev.
"Sorry, Leonid Ilyich," replies Satan, "that's actually Marilyn Monroe's punishment."
Khrushchev tours a modern art museum, annoyed at how pointlessly abstract many of the paintings are.
"What the hell is this green circle with yellow spots?"
"It depicts our heroic peasants fighting to fulfill the plan to produce 200 million tons of grain," the curator answers.
"What's this black triangle with red lines supposed to be?"
"That represents heroic industrial workers in a factory."
"And what's this fat ass with ears?"
"That's a mirror, General Secretary."
Pravda has an image of Khrushchev visiting a pig farm for the cover of their next issue, but the editors aren't quite sure how they should caption it.
Ideas like "Khrushchev visiting pigs" or "Khrushchev among pigs" are suggested, but they are all dismissed for one reason or another.
Eventually, they settle on and eventually print: "Comrade Khrushchev, third from left."
A man is brought before a judge, accused of shouting "Khrushchev is a pig!" in Red Square for all to hear.
There's plenty of evidence and multiple eyewitnesses, so the man is swiftly sentenced to twenty-five years in prison.
"Twenty-five years?!" he shouts. "I thought insulting the General Secretary was only five years!"
"It is," the judge replies. "The other twenty are for revealing state secrets."
Khrushchev tours a collective stockyard, where the workers show him their latest machine: a state-of-the-art sausage maker.
The workers only have to load a hog carcass, push a button, and a chain of sausages comes out the other end a minute later.
Upon seeing a demonstration, Khrushchev japes, "Ah, but is there a machine where one can put a sausage in and a hog comes out?"
"But Comrade Khrushchev," one of the workers replies, "only your parents can do that!"
