In the track & field portion of the Olympics, the Soviet hammer-throw athlete wins the gold and sets a new world record.
After his amazing feat, he's interviewed by the press: "How did you manage to hurl that hammer so far?"
He replies, "If it had a sickle with it, I would've sent it twice as far."
During the Moscow Olympics opening ceremony, Brezhnev stands up to the podium to give his speech.
He starts out by saying "Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!"
For the closing speech, they made sure not to print his notes on the Olympic rings letterhead.
During the Olympics, the only two competitors in the 400 meter dash are the American and Soviet runner. The race happens, and the American handily wins.
The headline of the New York Times the next day: "America beats Soviets in 400 meter dash, wins gold"
The headline of Pravda the next day: "Soviet sprinter wins silver medal, America places second-to-last"
