3 rubles for Afghanistan

Vanya is asked to bring 3 rubles to school to support the Communist Party of Afghanistan, but he doesn't because he doesn't believe there's such thing as a Communist Party in Afghanistan.

The next day, the students are asked to bring 3 rubles to support the trade unions of Afghanistan. Vanya doesn't bring them, though, because he doesn't believe there are such things in Afghanistan.

The day after, the students are asked to bring 3 rubles to help the starving children of Afghanistan. Vanya brings in 9 rubles, and says, "My father says that if they have starving children, they must have the Communist Party and trade unions, too."

Brezhnev's final words

 On Brezhnev's deathbed, the only people in the room are a doctor by his bedside and some Politburo officials waiting by the door.

He takes his last breath, and he whispers his last words: "Get me a priest!"

When the doctor steps away, the Politburo ask him what he said.

The doctor replies, "Invade Afghanistan."