Radio Yerevan on stereos

 Radio Yerevan, is it true that all Soviet citizens have free stereos?

Of course, everyone hears the same thing from all sides!

An old woman walks down the street with toilet paper

 An old woman is walking down the street, her bags full of rolls of toilet paper.

A passerby asks her "Where the hell were you able to buy all that?"

"Me buying this much, today? Ha!" the woman laughs. "I've had these for five years! I'm just bringing them back from the cleaners."

A Party official talks about Five Year Plans

At a factory meeting, a speaker from the local Party committee tells the workers about the bright future ahead of them.

"See, comrades, after this Five Year Plan is completed, every family will have a separate apartment. After the next one, every worker will have a car! And when the one after that is completed, every family will own an airplane!"

One of the workers asks, "What the hell would you need an airplane for?"

"Don't you see, comrades? Let's say there's a shortage of potatoes in your town. No problem! You take your plane, fly to Moscow, and buy potatoes there!"

A son borrows the car keys

 A teenage son goes up to his father. "Dad, can I borrow the car keys?"

"Sure, but don't lose them. We're getting the car in only seven years!"

A woman orders a car

 A woman goes down to the Lada dealership and orders the new model car.

The dealer replies, "It'll be ready to pick up in ten years, eight months, and three days."

"Will that be in the morning or the afternoon?"

"Why does it matter, it's ten whole years from now!"

"I have the plumber coming that morning."

Some workers in a washing machine factory

 Some workers in a washing machine factory decide that they want one for themselves. So, they resolve to steal the parts over time and build it in their apartments.

But it seemed that every time they tried, it would end up as a T-34.