Lieutenant Viktor Ilyin is being interrogated by the KGB after his arrest for trying to shoot Leonid Brezhnev.
"You've achieved nothing but sign your own death warrant," the interrogator boasts. "And I thought you called yourself a sniper."
"Hey!" Ilyin retorts. "You try to shoot straight when everyone around you is shouting 'Let me try, let me try!'"
A protester at an anti-government demonstration is pulled into a van by the KGB and taken to an interrogation room. When they search his pockets, they find he has nothing but dozens of blank pamphlets.
"What's the meaning of this?!" the interrogator asks.
"There's no point in having them printed," the protestor replies, "Everyone already knows what's wrong!"
An American tourist in Red Square is sitting on a bench and strikes up a conversation with a local.
"You know what I love about America?" he says, "Our freedom of expression. In fact, I could probably march into the White House and tell President Reagan, 'Sir, I hate how you're running America!'"
"It's the same in Russia," the local replies, "I can march into the Kremlin and tell Secretary Gorbachev, 'Sir, I hate how President Reagan is running America!'"
During a riot, an ambulance comes and shuttles away two riot officers who were injured in the clash. One protestor sees an old woman crying at the sight and accosts her.
"Why are you crying for those dogs, they don't deserve your sympathy!"
The woman stops crying for a moment and replies, "Don't you see? That ambulance only took two, but it's big enough to hold five!"
