Celebrating Lenin's centenary

 To celebrate the hundredth anniversary of Lenin's birth, plants and factories all across the Soviet Union design commemorative goods to honor him:

• A perfume named "Scent of Lenin"
• A soap named "All over Lenin's places"
• A cosmetic powder named "Lenin's ashes"
• A bed for newly weds named "Lenin is always with us"
• A laxative named "Lenin's testament"
• A candy named "Lenin in chocolate"
• A bra named "Lenin's hills"
• A wine named "Lenin in Razliv"
• A sausage named "Lenin's cut"
• A cuckoo clock with a Lenin figurine that, on the hour, pops out and says, "What to do? What to do?"
• A fountain named "Lenin's jet"
• A windup doll of Lenin that, when wound up, hops one step forward and two back
• A tourist guidebook called Lenin's Favorite Siberian Places, for people who like telling jokes about Lenin