An American and a Russian die and both go to hell. The American goes to American Hell, where he has to eat a bucket of shit every day. The Russian is sent to Soviet Hell, where he has to eat two buckets of shit.
A while later, the two tormented souls see each other and talk a bit.
"It's horrible torture," the American says, "but I'm glad I'm not suffering as much as you."
"It's not too bad," the Russian replies, "most of the time the buckets of shit don't arrive, and when they do there's never enough for everybody!"
Variants add figures (e.g., various politicians as the doormen to their Hells) or change the types of torture offered.
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