Brezhnev and his wife take a train

 Brezhnev and his wife are taking a train from a state visit in Berlin back to Moscow.

At one point, she asks him where they are. Brezhnev opens the window, sticks his hand out, and pulls it back in a second later.

"We're still in Germany. I stuck my hand out and someone kissed it."

A few hours later, she asks him again, and he sticks his hand out the window again.

"We're in Poland now. I stuck my hand out and someone spat on it."

She asks him a third time after several more hours passed, and he sticks his hand out again.

"We're back in Russia. I stuck my hand out and someone stole my watch!"

Variants from later decades may substitute the leader for Gorbachev.